Return of the Kedi

Cricket Fundaez #1

2012-01-27T08:30:00.000-08:00

India vs Australia.

That's it. Its too much. Eight matches is too much for anyone to take. Free entry into Adelaide Oval on Day 5! Can the cricket team make it any worse?

I think otherwise. I think we need to have a look at the positives from the series.

Considering that India is in a sever power shortage, the team has done the country a major service by ensuring that TV sets aren't switched on for an entire day, or in some cases even two days!! That is a lot of electricity saving.

Gone are the days when you switch on Star Cricket and the commentary is refreshing with Harsha Bhogle, Sidhu, Richie Benaud and Tony Greig. But all we ended up with was a Jason De La Pena [who is incidentally younger than Sachin and Dravid and just got kicked out of EPL hosting for being morose] and just the louder half of the Shastri-Gavaskar duo. The Indian team put us out of our misery and we did not hear them for a few more days telling why RSD and VVS should make way for Rohit Sharma, the next test batting sensation.

There is finally a fast bowler find. Umesh Yadav. The fast bowler to replace Kapil Dev after our previous proclamations Ishant Sharma, Zaheer Khan, Munaf Patel, Irfan Pathan, Javagal Srinath, Ajit Agarkar, Sreesanth all went the Venkatesh Prasad way. Lets hope he does not go that way.

We have managed to revive the careers of Hussey and Ponting. Duncan Fletcher, I take my hat off to you! The most well-thought of strategy since my last AOE game. Seeing what has currently happened to the Indian cricket team's 'elders', reviving the career of these 2 'oldies' will only harm Australia in the next tour to India where we can take full advantage of their age. Bowling out these 2 giants on the Indian dust bowls will be the revenge best served cold. Do unto your enemies as they do unto you. Bravo, Fletcher, Bravo!

In other totally unrelated news, Virat Kohli did not utter that many profanities as expected when he reached his century. Moral Victory.

When we have won so many mini-battles, why worry if Sachin has his 100th hundred or not or if we win test matches. Its not like we win test series outside India. Its all just another brick in the wall. Err.... I dont think it is a good metaphor these days, as The Wall looks like it is shifting from Bangalore to Berlin.

Convo blues!

2012-01-26T08:47:00.000-08:00

This post has been a long time coming. Well, not exactly that long. It has lasted only for long as India's first innings in Adelaide. 'Nuff said.

This month has been quite eventful for me. I graduated. Went back to college for one last time. Its amazing how 3 days is enough to relive the moments of the 4 most brilliant years of your life. Leading up to the 3 days, the best made plans were made and us, being the engineers that are now accustomed to meeting deadlines and production targets should have pulled it off with ease. Kind of like the Indian batting line up with all its experience. Yet, the I'm still sleeping and 15 more minutes please makes you realise that it really does not matter what your best laid plans are outside, once you enter the walls of the institute, things tend to go back to how it used to be. My lasting impression of the convocation was not the degree, but the fact that I managed to do the things that I do on a normal, college day on those 3 days. Fifa 12, night outs discussing variety of stuff, watching movies, catching the Manchester derby in H-9. I was truly in the presence of the college hostel when I was taking a dump and the water ran out on me. A subtle moment of despair but then there is nothing else that could have summed up college life like that one.

Its not the special moments that make the return special, but the regular moments that you will never do again with your friends that make it worth the wait.

I am back!

2011-10-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

Its been a year since my last blog post. I have struggled to come to terms with the fact that I have a job and that is why I could not blog. A government job. Oh, who am I kidding! It was actually a birthday resolution. I decided to blog only when Ajmal Kasab was hanged. The government decided to hang him only after they resolve the Telengana issue and pass the Jan Lokpal Bill. Well, I am blogging now. I should not speak ill of my employer, see?

But all this time hasn't gone to waste. I am working for the Government of India. I am living the Indian dream. I sleep more than I used to. Now, I know why it is called the Indian dream.

All jokes apart, I managed to watch quite a few movies in this period. A few movies later, the idea has been planted in my head. It is going to define or destroy me. Yes, this is the inception of true love into my head. This is what a mix of inception and a Gautam Menon movie can do to your thoughts.

Somehow, in the midst of all these dreams(no, not the second dream level) about the perfect girl, who is the one with the perfect smile, the dubbed voice of a recording artist, wearing Manish Malhotra's clothes, singing a Vairamuthu/Prasoon Joshi poem set to a Rahman tune, dancing to imitate Prabhu Deva, I realise that her character is contrived. But thats ok, because I have fallen head over heels in love with her. Maybe to get her, I need to go into the heel within a heel or if my heel is hurt, I may have to use a third cream level.

Inception says "The dream is real", but my reality is just a dream.

Transformation

2010-07-29T11:14:00.000-07:00

Over the years, I have had the opportunity to read some great books. Great books usually get transformed into movies. Books that come as a series are even better, having provided the best movies of all time, The Godfather series, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Bourne series and what not.

Recently, I managed to catch one of these sagas on the big screen- Twilight : Eclipse. This is the third part of the 4 part series. The story essentially revolves around a girl Bella, played by Kirsten Stewart - who loves and is loved by 2 guys Edward, played by Robert Pattinson and Jacob, played by Taylor Lautner. The movie is based on the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. The trick to watching the movie is that we have to realise that Edward is a vampire and Jacob aka Jake is a werewolf. The battle between vampires and werewolves has been highlighted brilliantly in this movie with the main vampire portrayed as a gay guy in love with a girl.

The love for Bella is what drives Jake and Edward to join hands to protect her from the so called scary newborns. While Jake is a six pack hunk who rides bikes and does extreme sports and is the perfect hunk, Edward is 110 years old and looks gay. Bella is this human devoid of emotions, feeling the eternal need to evacuate her bowels. While the guys seem to shower their love and Bella reciprocating, given this emotional condition of Bella, it remains a mystery why the gay vampire has not been smitten by the macho, six pack werewolf. Bella also expresses her desire to become a vampire thereby wanting to be immortal, while newborns are side by side "killing" vampires with the help of the Volturi, a bunch of vampires who also "kill" Vampires. Pattinson pulls off every romantic dialogue with such emotionless worthlessness that makes Simbu in VTV look sane. Bella, while wanting to get married to Edward asks Jake to kiss her while Edward watches and remains quiet despite vampires being werewolves' eternal enemies, raising serious questions on whether she actually wants a threesome, which infact might be the crux of the story because everything else seems so useless.

As I kept watching the movie, ardently waiting for the climax, I suddenly was brought to reality-the movie was over. Lucky for me, I was watching on my comp and I could rewind, though by that time, I was doubting on whether I should delete it. But I just watched it again, so that I could try to make some sense of the time I wasted. The climax went something like Bella trying to imitate a lady in a flashback who sacrificed herself for her husband, thereby protecting her clan of werewolves. In Bella's case, she was not protecting humans, rather vampires, who are immortal. Although she bleeds, she still she could not evacuate her bowels. And well, something happens to Jake and I went to sleep.

This movie Eclipsed has Eclipsed New Moon as the worst movie I have seen. My verdict - The movie should be retitled for philanthropic purposes as "How to win over guys for constipated people".

A Red Day

2010-05-01T06:02:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time in a land far, far, far away that noone knew how far away due to the lack of proper distance measuring devices, there was Kwa-Thun-Phai. He had a big big family that even he did not know how big it was because everyone on his island was related to him and as soon as he had a new child they used to be transported out of the island. His job was just to make kids. He never used to make his own food because he was too busy trying to just have kids. Their clan's only way of survival was to multiply and so there was a person who used to start the multiplication process which was him. Everyone had a female in the house who was supposed to sleep with him once they reached puberty and once the kids have been delivered they had to go back. The only other passion the clan of Phau had was food. There was however a problem, since the resources in the land frequently used to get exhausted they were always in search of greener pastures. quite literally and almost half used to die. So the necessity to multiply was justified.

Kwa-Thun used to live by the hill overlooking the sea. And then one day.....

There was a big thud and a bang, and there was something he had never seen before, it was something he had never seen before. It was a big white stick with lumps of hair on top, with a cloth partially worn and a piece of leather beneath that. The leather supported the other parts. There could have been many parts but Kwa was so small that he could only see so much. But this white thing was not alone, there was a pair of it, the other one being a mirror image of it. There were 4 pairs of this white thing. The destruction that followed was so massive that almost half of the clan living in the island were dead. Kwa then desperately clung on to the white thing trying to fight back, but it was in vain, he tried to hit it, clinging on valiantly, defiantly, biting the thing, clinging on to his dear life. Then he heard a sound a big sound that looked like it came from a black hole and a smaller stick pushed him away on to the leather. He held on dearly for his life.

The days passed, and then he had his first breath of the sea, he was surrounded with more leather and a smell so horrendous he had never experienced. The leather then suddenly rose and tilted, the force pulling him down was so much that he could not do much but fall. He was met with a strange material possibly like those he saw on the trees near his hill. Then the leather and his pair came down with so much force on him.

And there was complete blackness....

This is a day in the life of an ant. :)

The Beginning

2009-09-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

Good day..

This is my journey into this malicious, confused area....
this cynic here is gonna spread his wings and criticise the hell out of all of you....

Four days without proper sleep and with what not amplifying my misery has driven me to the end that i will hate all of you..

My philosophy is simple.. love all.. never hate anyone... hate and anger are stuff that can lead to mass damage.. for more buy a battle fury and a divine rapier and you'll see what i mean..

This is my definition of my college
I start with lab.... a lab is a place where wiring takes place in semester beginning so that we attend weekend labs... but i still love you

An exam- something that a piece of paper has to suffer from after series of vomits from "rattoos" so that they achieve the post of GS and GLR and whatever else the college has elected them to... i love you also

Mess bill - the notice where life's comforts are sacrificed for the purpose of filling the coffers of the CFO of the hostel committee.... i will love you except you are a boy.. but still i like you...

Mess- a mess. the name says it all.. lovely place... very spacious with a garden of unknown flowers hybridised with potato blooming in every plate... so lovely and refreshing...

Classroom - an empty, unoccupied room especially if you are in my class... a place i hardly visit but still end up understanding more than half my classmates who struggle to mug......... a lovely sight

College- a place where everything has to go wrong and people trying to make sense end up senseless and people speaking english lose their control over the language and what you thought you were is not what you are and his isnot what you will be in the future... such an entertaining story... so lovely...

Thus the only real thing in life is love, family and friends.......
so get a life, do something, kick the bucket, break taps if they are malfunctioning, break tv's if they dont work, smash tubelights if not working, bomb your dustbins, create ruckus , chaos, if college authorities act selfishly, protest smash eggs, tomatoes, break window panes and what not.. be destructive, the best thing is it enables you to start over again... this is what i have done to myself, i self-destructed sometime back and yes, from the next post you will see the real me.. the fcostheta , the straight component....

Till then, aufwiedersehen